There a two ways in which a woman becomes a single mother: they either choose to have a child in their lives without a romantic partner involved at the time, or they anticipated the support of a significant other who had different plans. In either scenario, there are challenges and rewards, so let’s take a look at the single mother by choice.
The single mother by choice is a woman who desires the opportunity to raise a child, to be a role model, and to protect a little person. More often than not, single women by choice are financially and emotionally prepared for the challenges that children present. These challenges are slightly different than those that the single mothers by chance face.
Choice single moms are going against the flow of many society’s cultural norms. The strong belief that many people around the world share of “two parents are better than one” puts a stigma on family forms that vary from that perspective. However, the deep desire to have a child in one’s life has some women adopting, expensively artificially inseminating, and sometimes kidnapping children.
On the other hand, we have the single mother who were perhaps widowed, divorced, abandoned, raped, or knocked up by a friend or casual date. Obviously, none of these sound very attractive. The immediate challenges that come to mind are in finances, social support from the child’s father, time management, and most times educational resources on how to parent infants and children.
Society leaves single mothers by chance in the lowest rung of economic security; even lower than that of all minority groups in the United States. This country has limited social policies to aid single mothers who are in poverty in comparison to several other countries who may or may not be industrially advanced. Child care centers are expensive.
Housing is expensive. Food prices are ever on the rise and clothes, toys, and safety equipment for children are not free. In suburban communities, transportation is also a huge challenge for the single mom. If she is lucky enough to have a car, it needs gas, maintenance, insurance, tabs, and a car seat.
So, in both cases of the single mom by choice or chance, challenges are presented. However, there are priceless moments that only mothers receive in their daily walk with their children. Personally, as a single mother by chance, I wouldn’t trade one day of having my son. He is my joy and inspiration to continue pushing toward a better future for us. Options are available for mothers who cannot adjust and adapt to the pressures and responsibilities that single motherhood entails. Loving families who are unable to bear children of their own, or who want to help children have a home, exist out there. It’s up to the single mom to be honest and know her own limitations for the sake of her child.