Single Parenthood – Pros and Cons of Single Motherhood

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The family form consisting of a single mother is nothing new, but the stereotype concerning this group is changing, slowly. Some cultures accept single mothers and support them with varying "family friendly" policies that make the workforce a warmer place for them to return to, while other cultures hold opposing views against single motherhood, considering it a problem that is shameful.

While there are problems around single parenthood, there are also benefits. In fact, some people, out of their desire to fulfill a part of their lives that involves child rearing, may even adopt without being married.

It really is such a joy to be a part of something larger than oneself, and these experiences of growth, excitement, and pride are not to be overlooked simply because of the challenges that come hand-in-hand with parenting out of wedlock. Besides, even parents who are in union face challenges, but in either case, children are gifts to be treasured. Challenges are to be overcome. If the reader happens to be a single parent, do not be discouraged. Resources are at hand for single parents.

So, what are some of the benefits to single parenthood? There are different benefits for single mothers than for single fathers. For single mothers, being both the mom and the "dad" in a parenting position is tricky, and moms are forced out of ordinary gender roles. The pressure to create the traditional home environment is out the window without a man to keep happy. And even single mother dating is not so much of a preference as the moms are too engrossed with their little ones.

It is nice to not have to worry as much in keeping up with housework and cooking. For instance, many women are supposed to have dinner ready at 6 o'clock for their husband when he gets off work. Single moms have more freedom in pacing their own daily routines to fit their child(ren)'s needs. Another thing that is specific to single parenthood are the perks of claiming that status (single parenthood) in order to achieve educational discounts and grants. College can be anywhere from severely discounted to free for those who continue to seek education despite time commitments to their kids and/or work as well. If we talk about a state like Washington, there is definitely education help and other help for single mothers in Washington.

Single fathers have the benefit of learning tasks that many societies deem "feminine" such as cleaning, sewing, cooking meals, laundry, and rearing children. For many men, it is a relief to try something different than what is portrayed in the media as "manly". The statistics for single fathers in getting remarried are different compared to single moms. The average single mom takes an average of ten years to find a husband and mostly as single mothers work at home.

One of the issues that often comes up in married couples when raising children is the common scene where a child is disciplined from one parent and goes dashing to the other parent seeking special treatment. One parent winds up undermining the authority of the other parent. In single parenthood situations, the rules are all up to that one single parent, so it's really a benefit to have less communication mishaps in the single parent household. For couples having such problems, it truly is a learning process for each parent to make sure the ground rules run flush between the two, but it takes overcoming obstacles such as learning how each partner was raised and their current views on discipline. Culture plays a part too as many couples are becoming more diverse.

The downsides to being a single mom are universal. The number one concern is in the realm of finances. Women who are stuck with children have a harder time getting their education completed, job experience and internships, and decent paying careers. Men are generally the ones who are less obligated to care for children and can then be free to build their resumes and make higher salaries. Another con in single parenthood is the very likely possibility of running into a bad situation known as "burn-out". Each stage of growth in a child brings new challenges, and it just never seems to end! With family support, and peers willing to help, that burn-out point can be avoided, but without alone time, a single parent will experience times of overwhelming stress, depression, and isolation.

The darker side of single motherhood really isn't heavier than the upsides to it, but those storms can seem a lot worse to the new single mom. An experienced single mom will have gained coping methods and ways to deal with situations as they arise. No one's saying it's an easy route, but it's not the end of the world either.