As you read this, you may be a little confused because I am not a single mother; however, I was raised by a single mother. In this point in my life, I am so grateful for everything my mother did for me, even though there were times I hated her for it. My mom has never had an easy life and she still does not till this day. I am writing this story because I want single moms and their kids to know that success is possible even though you might have to go through a storm to get there. Keep in mind that due to time and space, I cannot share every detail of my mother's story or my own, but I will share the most important details.
My mom never made plans to be a single mother, but it sort of fell into her lap. Like many other single mothers out there, my mom was the victim of abuse. She had three more kids with my father, one which passed. As I was growing up, I heard rumors of how my dad shook my brother and that's how he died. I also heard stories of him kicking and beating my mom while she was pregnant. The child that died was my third oldest brother and I miss him every day. Somehow through all of this abuse, I came into the picture.
Not all single mothers are prone to poverty, but my family was. Soon after my mom left my dad and came to Ohio, she met another man who would quickly become my step dad. I only knew him as my father, but as I grew older, I learned that he was not my biological dad. I wish I could tell you that my mom's life got better from here, but it did not. Instead, my mom was exposed to more abuse from my step-dad. She had three more kids all before the age of 29. My step-dad refused to work, so I remember my mom working 2-3 jobs to make ends meet for us.
My step-dad was also a major drug dealer in the area, so there were times when he wasn't even around to care for us. That's when my older sister stepped up to the plate. Without her, I'm not sure if we would have eaten most nights. Our circumstances meant that we were very poor. We did not have running water and my oldest brother used to draw water from a well on our back porch. Keep in mind that this was merely 14 years ago, which was when most people had essentials like this.
I remember getting on the bus and people would tell me I smelled like gasoline, or they would make fun of my clothing. With six kids in your family, there was not always the best of everything and sometimes, you had to make do with what you had.
The biggest shock of our lives and the event that would cause the most pain was when my step dad passed way in a car accident in 1998. This was a turning point for my family because my mom was now a widow with six kids. For me, I was happy. This might sound ugly, but this man was an abuser and a hurtful person. He was highly into alcohol and drugs and that meant my mom was beat on a daily basis. Behind closed doors, he was also a sexual-abuser. This man that had hurt my mom and abused so many of us children was now dead because he chose to drink and drive behind the wheel. Although I was relieved, I could see the pain in my mom's eyes.
A few months after my step-dad passed away, we were moved into a three bedroom trailer. This trailer was the epitome of poverty. My mom became so depressed and wrapped up in her own feelings that it was so hard for her to raise us kids. And she hardly knew about resources for single mothers. Somehow she managed to make it through and better things were on the horizon for us. Through sleepless nights, late bills and an unknown fate, my family is alive and well today.
I wanted to share some of the details of my past with you because it's important. I've mentioned before that not all single moms live in poverty or go through so much. I may not be a single mom, but I am the child of one. I may not have had the happiest memories, but they helped make me who I am today. I am one of six children and we all have our positive and negatives quirks.
Some of my siblings chose to drop out of school and others chose the criminal life. I chose to graduate high school at the age of 16 and then go onto college. I got through college with student loans and a few grants. I've had a major support system and I could not have done it without them. In 2010, I graduated with my degree in Education and I'm happily married with two children. Success is in the eye of the beholder; however, I consider myself blessed. My childhood was full of pain and hurt, but my current life is full of nothing but joy and happiness. You may not know my whole story, but these incidents helped my story become successful. And my way of how to help a single mom, getting associated with Single Mother my Choice and sharing best possible information that I can.